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The TRaNsMOGRiFiER changes things in unpredictable ways. Objects dropped off during the day are subject to transmogrification–an overnight process that involves people, found materials, cardboard, electronics, and hot glue. Owners may pick up their objectsTR the next day. There is no charge, however, please note that transmogrification is irreversible.
There are registered TRaNsMOGRiFiERS in Providence, Charlottesville, and Brisbane–if, for some reason, you are not in one of these cities, you can send your object in for transmogrification. The current turnaround time for transmogrification by mail is about two weeks. For address and additional information, email email@example.com.
Because repeatability is simply out of the question, transmogrification is a science and art of the particular. At the core of every TRaNsMOGRiFiER is a unique brain built by its operators. Each brain suggests different processes, materials, and actions to be used during transmogrification.
card board boxes…
The first cardboard box was produced in England in 1817 and the modern, corrugated cardboard box was readily available by the 1890s. With the cardboard box came the near infinite potential that accompanies any space that may be set apart. In addition to moving and storage, boxes are used as homes, planters, seats, playgrounds, instruments, and hats. Cardboard boxes are cheap, structurally sound, easy to manipulate, and readily available (we recommend a bookstore’s dumpster).
The first documented TRaNsMOGRiFiER was developed in 1987 by a child named Calvin and is widely considered to have set the standard for all transmogrification activities since. It is not clear what type of brain was driving Calvin’s early version, but based on the few documented outputs it seems to have been small but frighteningly powerful, capable of transforming lifeforms. While this functionality has not yet been replicated or observed in subsequent TRaNsMOGRiFiER iterations–the output can still be quite interesting.